The last few weeks of work have completely sucked. I feel like the guy from Office Space for a number of reasons. First of all, we both have the same first name. Second of all, people do actually come up to me in my little cubicle at work and say, "Peter...What's happening?" Actually they don't, but a few days before the company picnic, someone came over to me and said, "Hey Peter! Are you going to the company picnic?" If only you could hear their voice when they said it. They sounded just like someone from Office Space.
Every day it's the same thing. Go sit in my cubicle, take out a yellow note pad, and draw pictures. Below is one of my better works:
And people say Dilbert isn't funny! They are so right. I came up with a theory at work today though (I did do something productive!). Dilbert was never meant to be funny. The guy who drew Dilbert (not me... I'm talking
about the guy who invented Dilbert) never intended for Dilbert to act humorous. Rather, he intended Dilbert to be a warning. That warning is that people shouldn't work in offices. Ever. Emo/Punk/Rock/Music band Thursday compared being stuck in an office to being on a ship that is sinking in the song "For the Workplace, Drowning". So is it just a coincidence that one of my co-workers looks like Captain Hook? And that my name is Peter, as in Peter Pan, as in Captain Hook's arch-nemesis?
I found a way out of this trap called work. I simply leave early. The next day, when the first mate asks why I wasn't at work, I reply, "Why weren't YOU at work?" It gets them every time. By the time they have me figured out, it's too late. I've already found Davy Jones's locker and killed Moby Dick. All that before my lunch break. After lunch, I totally schooled the guys from Water World. At ping pong.
I used to strongly dislike co-workers who did nothing all day. You know, the people who were only about themselves, and thought that there was an "I" in "TEAM". They'd do nothing but spend the whole workday trying to prove that there was indeed an "I" in "TEAM" just so they wouldn't have to be a team player and pull their weight, thus actually earning their paycheck. Guess who that person is now? Me! I have yet to prove that there is an "I" in "TEAM", by the way, although I did create an alternate spelling of the word....It's "TEIM". Actually I do pull weight at work, although I do admit that I am not a huge fan of my job. But even if I didn't earn that paycheck of mine, would it matter? I'd get my bills paid either way. It's not like I'd go to pay rent for next month, and they'd say, "I can't accept this. I don't believe you earned this money." If that happened, too many people would be homeless. Then they'd be BEGGING to be pirates. I guess. Whatever. I'm done.
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